WITNESS THE FITNESS
How a CBD-infused muscle rub helped Erin Coe stay on track with her new-year fitness goal.
Words: Erin Coe
2020 is the year I get fit. But there’s a small problem: I hate exercise. And actually ‘hate’ may be putting it mildly… In fact, I vehemently, passionately despise exercise.
And it’s not for lack of trying. I’ve walked, run, cycled. I’ve attempted boxing, I’ve tried yoga, I’ve even flailed around at home mimicking workout videos. It’s. All. So. Boring. And really, really sore.
But it’s a new year and I’m getting, erm, older. So it’s now or never. I have to get fit, even if the process is not at all enjoyable. So when my boyfriend asks if I want to join a social Ultimate Frisbee team with him, I jump at the chance. I mean, it can’t be worse than walking, running, cycling, boxing, yoga or flailing around... Right?
Since I can foresee the kind of damage I am about to do to my body, I research post-workout relief solutions. I do not want to go through anything similar to the Post - Boxing - Class - Pain - Spasms - Of - 2018, or the Post - Trail - Run - Couldn’t - Walk - Up - The - Stairs - Week - Of - 2019.
Intro the KisKanu CBD Skin Rub. I don’t know much about CBD but I do know that people I like swear by it. So, when said people suggest I try it for pain relief, I do some research and find lots of anecdotal evidence online; with everyone from serious athletes to lycra-loving gym bunnies citing it as their first-choice for relieving post-workout muscle pain, spasms and inflammation.
Since consuming cannabis - in any form - has only recently become less frowned upon, finding scientific research studies about it are still few and far between. Still, I do find a few promising journal articles that cite CBD’s benefit in lowering pain and inflammation which is heartening because if my past workout experiences are anything to go by, I’m going to be in a lot of pain. A lot.
Partly because I am running out of time before my first match and partly because I am desperate and willing to try anything, I order the KisKanu CBD Skin Rub from KushKush. Delivery date: a few days after my first frisbee session. Not ideal, but what can you do?
Although I’m a tentative frisbee virgin, I quickly realise it’s fun. Maybe I’ve found my thing?! Fifteen minutes in, however, I realise how unfit I am. It feels like a large someone is sitting on my chest and my throat is full of phlegm. I’m breathing deeply, my face is flushed, but despite all this, I still run up and down, up and down, up and down that field. I suck at catching, am even worse at throwing, but I’m enjoying it, which is more than I can say for walking, running, cycling, boxing, yoga, flailing around..
About an hour in, my legs give up. I’m talking major muscle spasms in my calves, aching quads and hell, even some lower backache for good measure! My body shuts down during the last game and I give in to the urgent desire to just sit down. Despite all this, I’m as shocked as you to realise I’m still having a good time. Who am I?
It’s when I get home that shit gets real. The pain is unbelievable. My legs seize up, my lower back throbs in a persistent dull ache and I’m forced to hobble around, bent double like a little old lady. I fall into an instant coma and wake up the next day… To more excruciating pain.
Next day, same nightmare. I’m about to veto any further exercise efforts but thankfully the fitness gods take pity on my poor mortal body and the KisKanu CBD Skin Rub arrives, and with it, my increased resolve to get fit.
This is my new-and-improved plan: I head back to frisbee, KisKanu CBD Skin Rub tucked in my tog bag. The usual occurs: the fun, the pain, the inevitable hobbling, but this time, as soon as the last game is over, I sit down on the grass, fish out the ointment and rub-a-dub-dub a dollop of it all over my aching limbs.
To be honest, right now I really don’t care that it’s cold pressed, or contains antioxidant-rich hemp oil or organic body-and-skin-boosters like lavender or comfrey. The only thing that really matters to me right now is that the CBD in this skin rub goes postal on my pain levels.
It feels good. And a little weird. The fact that it’s weed-green, and a little gloopy, gives me pause as I scoop it out, but the promise of relief quickly wins me over and I find deep comfort in the warming oils and calming scent. I zone out as I massage my sore legs, my muscles already thanking me for the welcome dose of TLC.
And then I wait.
According to the packaging, it takes about 20 minutes to take effect, but within 10, I’m walking (not hobbling!) to my car. Sure, I still go home and fall into a coma. And the next day, I wake up with incredible pain that makes it extremely challenging to get out of bed. That is, until I massage more KisKanu CBD Skin Rub in, and sigh with relief as my body relaxes into a state of - if not bliss - then normal-ness.
Maybe 2020 will end up being the year I get fit, after all.